The
Fire of your Heart System is the Fire of creativity. The creative visions
that marijuana gives you when you first take it happen because the Fire
of the marijuana joins together with the Fire in your Heart. Because of
its Fiery nature, the initial ride that marijuana gives you can be one
of purification in Sacred Fire. It will bring beautiful, miraculous living
form to your innermost creative ideas. Your high can be one long, spontaneous,
creative expression of self.
Then the restlessness will kick in. Marijuana will begin to drive your
moods up and down. It will take your energy and swing you into a creative
depression. You’ll begin to withdraw from life. Depending on your
constitution, you may wind up sleeping all the time, or suffering from
insomnia. Your spontaneous, free-flowing expression will take a gradual
and definite turn into its opposite. Humorless, sexually repressed, dull
and unable to concentrate, you’ll feel inadequate and clumsy as
you bumble your way through trying to get something, anything done.
Marijuana’s path of Fire through your Heart and Blood Systems goes
through a number of spiraling rebirths in its process. The nature of creative
energy is to squeeze, compact and frustrate its way toward its next creative
breakthrough. The depression marijuana has cast over you could lead you
into a primal awakening of creativity and expression if you can stay with
yourself and your feelings from moment to moment.
By this time the Hot Poison of the marijuana will be forging a very deep
effect on your personality. The more probable scenario for your primal
awakening is that you will explode with an atomic, drug-addled force that
will burn down everything in your life and reduce it to ashes. This is
the stage where your body has become so injured and toxic from the marijuana
that your Shen gets damaged. You’ll experience memory loss as your
mind ‘goes to pot.’ You’ll lose the edge and creativity
you once had. You’ll know there’s something wrong with you,
but you won’t know what it is. Your verbal skills and ability to
keep track of time will be shot. This is when you’re entering a
deep level of psychological dependence on the drug.
There’s a chance, if you follow yourself with meticulous attention,
that at the next turn of marijuana’s Fiery spiral you’ll have
some kind of a spiritual or intellectual breakthrough. It could happen
in any of the areas of higher intelligence such as math, philosophy, science
or spirituality. Your breakthrough may involve two or more of these areas.
That’s because the Poison from the marijuana is forcing your brain
to make new connections--the old ones just don’t work anymore. You
may reach a superb state of intellectual and spiritual discrimination
and become a bastion of reason. You’ll be able to express your ideas
with absolute clarity as you continuously discover new and better ways
to make your ideas useful in the world.
If you continue your relationship with marijuana, the next phase will
transform you into a compulsive communicator. Your sublime clear thoughts
will begin to have a pressure behind them that will push people away from
you. Your energy will be flying out most of the time. You won’t
let anyone stop your relentless stream of communication as you devolve
from being a brilliant idealist to a salesperson, to an actor, to a con
artist.
The naked reality is that you’ve lost your ability to help your
ideas take root in the world. You’ll never reach the potential that
marijuana showed you. You’ve lost your ability to organize. You
still feel warmth for humanity, but you’re losing your power to
express it. As you go deeper into the illusion of this phase, you’ll
come to believe that everything that has happened to you is because ‘The
System’ has crushed you. The main feeling you’ll have at this
stage is overwhelm.
Your feeling of being overwhelmed will compound the toxicity of marijuana’s
Hot Poison and further burn up your Blood and Yin. When the Poison begins
to go into the deep levels of your Heart Blood and Yin, you may feel an
ephemeral sense of appreciation, joy and celebration for others. You may
even discover love. Yet your experience of love will be unstable. The
instability of life will sicken you until you won’t be able to tolerate
even feelings of pleasure or joy.
Sometimes you’ll flip into epiphanies of self-realization and expansiveness
and not want to be restricted or controlled in any way.
If you continue on marijuana’s ride your energy will then begin
to collapse inward. The fleeting joys you have savored in the last level
will tumble like puppets before you. You will be left in a vacuum with
no creativity and no feelings. Dull, boring, and uninspired, you’ll
get dragged into the river of the status quo. After all the struggle of
your creative journey, you’ll become a follower.
At this stage, marijuana will have claimed your Heart Blood. You will
fear rejection and seek approval. Taking no risks, irritable and restless,
you will spend your time looking into the past. But your search will be
selective as you edit parts of your history and try to ignore others.
Your lack of gusto and originality will now leave you without any warmth
whatsoever. Marijuana has taken it all. Your instinct may lead you to
become a bureaucrat with others of your kind in a large company or organization.
Guilt will poison any vestigial sexual feelings you may be left with.
You’ll feel lost in life, unable to separate what’s important
from what’s not important. Getting high won’t bring you clarity
anymore. You’ll feel like a curse or divine punishment hangs over
you at all times waiting for any opportunity to destroy you. Confusing
love and hate, and no longer possessing any form of natural discernment,
you’ll feel an inescapable draw to the black and white ideals of
fundamentalism.
