When
marijuana first begins to influence your Liver System it can be a time
of renaissance and rebirth in your life. You can experience absolute motivation
to put your plans, which are copious, far-reaching and detailed, into
action.
Whatever it is that you're into, you'll be ready to move forward and act.
At the same time, you will demonstrate a freshness and sensitivity to
others in your actions that will allow you to engage in a pleasant and
life-inspiring give and take with all you come in contact with. Compassion
in action will be the words that describe your Spring-like presence as
you pull together and consummate the essential spirit of all the experience
you've gained in life.
As marijuana begins to consume your Liver Qi and Yin, however, you will
begin to take a path of retreat in your dealings with others. You will
become withdrawn and do anything to avoid trouble or conflict. You'll
become unwilling to hurt anything or anyone for any reason, and your definition
of what is harmful will expand to include more and more things.
In time your pattern of consistent retreat will leave no more room for
you in the universe. You may feel like you have no place in the world.
Then something in you will begin to rebel. That something at its core
relates to your natural position in life. It will not let you fade away
into nothingness. It will rebel, yet it may have to do so without you
knowing about it, because you will refuse to contradict your own pacifist
ideals.
As marijuana continues to invade and degrade your Liver System, the new
you will begin to show itself in the form of passive resistance to those
around you. You may make 'innocent mistakes' that can harm the people
around you and put you on top in every situation you encounter. Weird
things and ‘accidents’ may happen that will keep you from
getting blamed, for a while, and mask your own understanding of what's
going on. What's amazing about this stage is that you won’t perform
any direct acts of aggression. You'll be unaware that you're doing it.
In fact, you'll believe the opposite is true.
At this point marijuana has twisted your Qi and your perceptions of yourself
so that you can't understand what you're doing. You will remain without
stain in your own eyes as you indulge more and more in procrastinating
and losing or ‘inadvertently’ destroying other people's possessions.
You'll do things that invoke other people to feel what you feel but can’t
express.
As the marijuana further masks your ability to observe yourself and begins
to burn your Liver Yin, you may feel victimized and spiteful. The bottom
of it all is that you still can't assert your being in the world because
marijuana has damaged your True Yang. As your Liver Yin and Blood continue
to burn as well, you'll begin to feel a deep anxiety whenever you believe
you're being tested or challenged. These are the moments when you need
to assert your being. You’ll find that you can’t.
As the marijuana continues to consume you, you'll become trapped in a
shroud of ambivalence. You won't be able to decide anything. Even the
simplest choices will seem to bring a crushing weight down on you. The
weight will bring you down and you'll start to get negative. Over time
your negativity and pessimism will sabotage anything that could move your
life forward. It can ruin all of your relationships. Your indecision and
negativity will so distort your judgment that you'll start making truly
poor decisions about even the most basic things in your life.
As the marijuana further damages your Liver Yin, your perception of life
will be that you're backed into a wall. Retreat has become impossible.
You’ll start looking out for #1, and you’ll know it. You'll
feel as if you're fighting a battle for your life all the time. You'll
be stuck in the fight part of fight or flight, consumed by a need to dominate.
You'll be dead serious at all times, with no room to relax or to be light.
As marijuana claims the final recesses of your Liver Blood, you can drive
everyone out of your life in a frenzied pursuit to win your aimless war.
